@ricsem: As a child, my family's menu consisted of two choices - take it or leave it.
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@Underchilde: They say they’re free weights, but the gym gets pissed if you put them in your car and leave.
@MrJeberling: I got a shopping cart today with 4 working wheels, it was full of lingerie models and self confidence and I was dreaming
@Matt_the_1st: Who me? Ohhh, I'm just driving around town, painting "free candy" on the side of creepy looking vans.
@ferranticathy: Bored, go into a fitting room wait a couple minutes then yell, "where's the toilet paper"