@ricsem: As a child, my family's menu consisted of two choices - take it or leave it.
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@jonnysun: BERNIE: all people deserve to be treated equally HILLARY: the oposite of "bernie sanders" is "soakey waterers" BERNIE: … HILLARY: pls fav/rt
@dumbbeezie: Please pray for girls everywhere who are getting a "What's up" text right now Be strong. Don't answer. Eat ice cream.
@wickedsuga: Him: I just want a stable relationship. Me: Yeah, horses are cool. Him: ........ Flirting is hard, you guys.
@Playing_Dad: [At vet] Me: My dog has been throwing up what looks like egg shells. Vet: What have you been feeding him? Me: Egg shells.