@ricsem: As a child, my family's menu consisted of two choices - take it or leave it.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Mikecanrant: I just farted real loud and my car alarm went off. Some guy is stealing it but I wanted you guys to know about my fart. Be right back.
@wolfpupy: i will be the first to admit when something is my fault, it really undercuts the other people blaming me for things
@XplodingUnicorn: 6-year-old: *finds a picture she drew* Why was this in the trash? Me: 6: Me: It was too good. I didn't want to make your sisters jealous.
@eminmien: "There's nothing wrong with being single." No. "I've got plenty of time." Sure. "I'm not lonely." Sir, are you going to buy anything?