@shutupmikeginn: As a child, 'The Jetsons' gave me unrealistic expectations for the future: like having a wife who loves me & owning a dog.
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@robfee: If you watch The Blindside backwards, Sandra Bullock becomes so disappointed in her black son that she abandons him on the side of the road.
@Sickayduh: [woman on death row] "Your last meal?" - I don't care. You pick. "Fish?" - Gross no "Steak?" - No. Anything is fine tho. "Pasta?" - Ew carbs
@NintenDom: I'm going to name my first kid Authorized Personnel so they can go wherever they want in life.
@EndhooS: *stood on Eiffel tower watching a beautiful sunset* Sara? *Gets down on one knee* *audible gasp* "Yes?" Help my knee is made of magnets