@shutupmikeginn: As a child, 'The Jetsons' gave me unrealistic expectations for the future: like having a wife who loves me & owning a dog.
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@Sarcasticsapien: When people say things like "You can't change the past" I can't help but wonder what it must be like to have that brilliant of a mind.
@gojarbe: *puts ranch dressing on chicken* aww look at his little cowboy hat and boots, how cute is that
@Izianikapani: Goldfish: did you remember to take out the garbage? Elephant: [rolls eyes] Goldfish: did you remember to take out the garbage?
@StevieKnip: Girls like guys who take charge: ask her out, plan a date, take a hostage, overthrow a government, nuke her ex's hometown, buy her a puppy