@shutupmikeginn: As a child, 'The Jetsons' gave me unrealistic expectations for the future: like having a wife who loves me & owning a dog.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@iAmDelFreaky: I was sad to lose an arm wrestling match to a woman, but I felt better after I found out she was a man. Then sad again because we had sex.
@MrGeorgeWallace: Shout out to the top 5 cakes in the world, crab, pan, pound, urinal and let them eat.
@LizHackett: I could host an elegant dinner party, but I don't know enough people with simmering tension over long-held secrets to make it worthwhile.