@buhsbaby_baby: As a grown woman with no children or morals to slow me down, I will have a definite advantage during tomorrow's family Easter egg hunts.
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@TheAlexNevil: I tried to contact Joan Rivers through my ouija board, and a message came back: "If I wasn't already dead, your outfit would've killed me".
@mellimelle: Just because I'm Irish doesn't mean I am always drunk. It means I always want to be.
@StinkyGr33n: I'm just saying, instead of calling it a "mule", it would have made more sense to call it a honkey.
@ruinedpicnic: "Well boy," I yell to my dog, seated in the basket of my pushbike as we plummet to the rocks below, "naming you E.T. clearly wasn't enough."