@ericsshadow: As a kid I thought a lot about growing up, getting a job and having kids, but not this job and certainly not these kids.
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@dorsalstream: [lights 2016 calendar on fire] There. Now you can't hurt anyone any longer. [wind blows calendar onto my coat; I'm engulfed in flames]
@JennyJohnsonHi5: How do you tell your spouse you were fired from SpaghettiOs for honoring Pearl Harbor Day with a smiling cartoon noodle holding a flag?