@ericsshadow: As a kid I thought a lot about growing up, getting a job and having kids, but not this job and certainly not these kids.
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@KeetPotato: [at my date's front door] wait, so you've known i was a koala the whole time? "yeah" [me clinging to her arm slowly eating a leaf] how tho?
@weinerdog4life: I get knocked down, but I get up again, and you're never, oh you knocked me down again, you are being very rude
@GarreTheFerret: Accidentally swallowed some food coloring. I'm OK, but I feel like I've dyed a little inside