@mattingebretson: As a kid on summer nights I'd capture fireflies in a jar then show them to my father and say "please buy me a sega this does nothing for me"
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@robdelaney: My wife went on a lot of roller coasters when she was pregnant with our daughter Katelyn, and you can tell :(
@PaperWash: Our Ideal candidate: -Minimum 3,000 years exp. -Must have 8 PhD's -Speak Klingon 80 hrs a week $7.15 an hour Must be passionate about work!
@briancthayer: Kids, eat your vegetables. *reluctantly, they eat* [2 hrs later] *I eavesdrop on their convo* Daughter: Unionizing will help us bargain.
@SortaBad: *guy shows me his Chinese character tattoo* "It means wisdom" *I show him a Batman BandAid on my arm* "It means I was brave at the doctor"