@scenesfromahat: As a man, I honor Christopher Columbus every day of the year by refusing to ask for directions.
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@LADaddy: I just turned my desktop keyboard upside down, shook it, and a taco salad fell out. At least it tasted like a taco salad.
@E_lok44: I shaved my legs today and drew the hair back on. I don't get it, eyebrow ladies, I don't get it.
@donni: He was a man of peace...until they burned down his village. Now, the quest for vengeance has turned him into...A Man Of Burning Things Down