@Sassafrantz: As a mom, I know nothing good happens after you hear one of your kids yell "JOHN CENA!!"
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@MartaEffing: My date told me he was 32 years old. I responded by saying, 'that's how many teeth adult humans have'. I sure hope he asks me out again.
@sophielou: If you are ever out in public and you see misbehaved kids running around - start running with them it really brings the nonsense to a halt.
@OhNoSheTwitnt: Weather channel: It's going to get up into the mid-30's this afternoon but it'll still feel like it's in the teens. Me: Literally me.
@Erroneous_Me: I hate my job, but it pays for my alcohol, and I need the alcohol, because I hate my job.