@Marlebean: As a parent, the only warm meal I get around here is ice cream.
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@WritePlay: *robbing a bank with a chainsaw* Me: GIVE ME ALL Y- Teller: WHAT M: GIVE ME THE MONEY T: SIR YOU CAN'T HAVE THAT IN HERE M: WHAT
@HarryRamble: I painted a banner for our annual family picnic, but my Mom thought "Celebrating 100 Years of Undiagnosed Mental Illness" was inappropriate.
@MsSugar_Kisses: Listening to my coworker cry about her gag reflex not being able to swallow her allergy pills.. All I keep thinking is: Her poor boyfriend..
@yenniwhite: My toddler said "I'm happy" and then "We're best friends." But it turns out she was talking to her cheese.