@Marlebean: As a parent, the only warm meal I get around here is ice cream.
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@robdelaney: TEENS: You might find yourself "embarrassed" by certain things your body is doing, when in fact, you should be ashamed.
@TexasHickspanic: The funniest thing about being sober is to realize you were so drunk last night you were tweeting all night with a calculator.
@2tickytacky: I remember when "Something's eating up data." meant that guy from Star Trek was deeply troubled.
@IRLPepperMD: *talking to mailman* So are you like, made of mail? *mailman laughs* "sure, kid" So that must mean.. *fireman & garbageman walk by* Holy shi