@Jack9eight5: As a pot smoking narcissist, my life is all smoke and mirrors
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@carlyken: Hello 911 my son is a terrorist he won't eat AMERICAN cheese. Almost two. Yes I'll hold. Hello Child Protection Services my son is a terrori
@Leemanish: HOW TO JOG: 1. Put on jogging outfit. 2. Go outside. 3. Imagine a cow galloping down the street. 4. Try to milk that cow.
@heymonroe: Remember in 90's movies when the hot girl would enter a party in slow motion? That's what happens when I walk in a buffet.