@TheTweetOfGod: As a rule, if the number of genders allowed to drive in your country is less than two, you live in an awful country.
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@truegritrumble: So my wife discovered I keep writing "please help me" in the memo line of all my personal checks and now I'm not allowed to have checks.
@GrantTanaka: "Hello, 911? Hi, I was just wondering: is it stop, drop, THEN roll? Cause my friend--STOP SCREAMING, I'M ASKING THEM"