@jwoodham: As a white man, it's hard to deal with the fact that I have a far greater chance of becoming a serial killer than I do of becoming a rapper.
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@FeelingMervis: Sometimes when my gf is asleep, I like to sneak into the living room, put on her dress, and pretend I wear the pants in this relationship.
@cupcakelynda: Microsoft Word just suggested that I change "you're" to "you is" so yes, I am very very afraid of what the future of education holds.
@Jake_Vig: "You see those footprints? It looks like our killer had feet." - If you want to know why I was fired as a writer on CSI.