@jwoodham: As a white man, it's hard to deal with the fact that I have a far greater chance of becoming a serial killer than I do of becoming a rapper.
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@MamaFlores: Clicks "open" Tries door Clicks "open" Tries door Clicks "open" Tries door What the FU.. Wrong car (I have a master's degree)
@DjJazzyJeffro: A guy at the bar asked me to pass him the salt and pepper, so I punched him in the face and yelled, GET YOUR OWN DISTINGUISHED HAIR JERK!
@CherBear162: Well Officer..we didn't have a bottle so that dead guy over there.. "Him?" No the other dead guy..suggested "Spin The .44"..And I WON!
@squirrel74wkgn: Seems like the “how to use a fire extinguisher” video on YouTube shouldn’t have a 30 second ad before it.