@miffedmim: As an introvert, having a special place in hell reserved just for me sounds rather nice.
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@david8hughes: [speaking at funeral] Deceased's brother: there's no words to describe the anguish we all feel right now Me: what about 'anguish'?
@Crunch11b: Every time someone says, "at least it's a dry heat," I want to stab them with a box cutter. *at least it's a short knife.
@CornOnTheGoblin: [PAPARAZZI] Bugs Bunny is it true u were shot by Elmer Fudd [BB]°sips drink° that's ridiculous °water shoots out of holes° No more questions