@daemonic3: As an ultimate act of selflessness, someday I will travel to a 3rd world country and adopt a small, less fortunate highway.
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@Marcmywords2: Sometimes I'll purposely spill gravy on my pants to give me an excuse to leave early. The real trick is sneaking the gravy into church.
@sarcasm_inc: "2015 AND PETSMART STILL DOESN'T HAVE FITTING ROOMS," I say somewhat loudly as Fluffy has to try on sweaters right there in the aisle.