@iamk1ts: As confused as an atheist who's stuck behind a car that isn't moving at a green light & has a bumper sticker that says 'Honk if you love God
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@GoodNaps: *in court* Your honor,this case must be thrown out "On what grounds?" *points to defendants nametag: ABookByItsCover* *Judges head explodes*
@13spencer: Katy Perry says that god spoke to her before the Super Bowl and said “you got this,” so it’s safe to say that god has crappy taste in music.
@SocialExtortion: Millions of innocent coconuts are murdered each year so you can drink their nutritious blood you insensitive health freak
@Donna_McCoy: My new table from Ikea is actually just the unopened box with a tablecloth thrown over it.