@tomwalkerisgood: As his name is not "Biggest Bird", we are to understand that Sesame Street is home to at least one, perhaps more, truly immense unseen birds
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@iwearaonesie: *takes glass out of dishwasher* *doesn't know where it goes* *leaves on counter* *wife puts it back in dishwasher* *repeat for last 7 years*
@AngryRaccoon2: 14: Wanna play a game? 12: Sure! 14: Do an impression of Mom 12: Oh that's easy 14: WITHOUT SWEARING 12: Forget it. The end.
@Brianhopecomedy: I lost the birth video of my son so I'm at the labour ward hoping to recreate it. I'll just zoom in close so my wife won't be able to tell.