@johnnyw1981: As I lay my phone down to sleep, I pray my brain won't think of tweets. If I die before I wake, I pray and hope my phone to break.
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@VampireIguana: Adam: Eve, you read the terms and conditions before using that Apple product right? Eve: Uh yeah, totally
@mattsurely: If anyone out there is named Aesop dear god please open a table store I have just the name for you.
@ProfessorKumi: "Smoking breaks" at work should be deducted from annually leave. We all have addictions, you don't see me leave a meeting to fry plantain