@johnnyw1981: As I lay my phone down to sleep, I pray my brain won't think of tweets. If I die before I wake, I pray and hope my phone to break.
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@KrunkedRobot: Entered what I ate today into my new fitness app and it just sent an ambulance to my house.
@RorynotRoy: It's annoying how mirrors are always all like, "Hey, c'mere. I wanna show you something gross about you."