@Robski_Boy: As I mentally undress you my OCD kicks in and I mentally fold all your clothes.
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@theDanLawler: A couple drops of super glue on your fingers and you wont pay attention to any other thing on the planet for three hours.
@Blunt_Sarcastic: If the inventor of the iPhone battery ever ends up on life support in a hospital, I hope the back up power source is an iPhone battery.
@Underchilde: A friend was telling me about quantum mechanics and I told her how I hate it when the safety seal on ketchup leaves that clear film behind.
@_The_Man__: Wife: The zoo called Me: [wearing hat made out of live lemurs] they say what they want?