@bingowings14: As I walk through the valley of the Shadow of Death, I remind myself that you can't always trust Google Maps.
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@SteveCarell: Flight attendant:"Would you like the chicken or the pasta?" Me:"What would you suggest?" Flight Attendant:"Eat before you get on the plane."
@GibJimson: Nephew: Were the scorpions around when there were dinosaurs? Me: You mean like the band?
@tastefactory: Roses are infrared Violets are infrared I'm hunting you for sport And soon you'll be dead -a valentine from the Predator