@bingowings14: As I walk through the valley of the Shadow of Death, I remind myself that you can't always trust Google Maps.
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@noogscorner: Someone should tell North Korea that if you want to nuke someone, you probably shouldn't give them a progress report every week.
@danjan13: My gf 1 month in: haha OMG I love your Twitter. I definitely don't think it's weird, it's so clever! My gf 2nd month: listen
@RS3Feed: I like to go to death metal shows and throw throat lozenges on the stage, it shows I care.
@juliussharpe: Basically anything you buy at the hardware store looks like you're getting ready to take hostages.