@Rollmaninoz: As I walk through the valley of the shadow of death I say unto myself I SHALL NEVER... USE APPLE MAPS AGAIN...
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@Cheeseboy22: My driver's license says I'm an organ donor but jokes on them because I have a piano.
@jwoodham: DATING TIP: Pick up the check. Pick up the table. Pick up the chairs and the waitress and the bartender. Everyone loves upper body strength.
@TheCatWhisprer: My toddler gets pretty impatient with me for someone who takes 45 minutes to eat an egg.