@GrantTanaka: As I waved my gun in their faces, I thought to myself "What kinda weird bank has children, clowns, presents, & balloons all over the place?"
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@TheDailySchmuck: Every time I'm the only black person at a party I think: "Wow. I helped them make quota."
@irememberfallin: My phone number is one digit off from a local restaurant's. When I'm in a bad mood, I'll take reservations.
@1Bad_Scientist: Here's a list of things I need you to accomplish without any resources to do them with. -management
@senderblock23: If you love something, let it go. Unless that thing is a cat. Your cat will not come back.