@Henry_3k: As ice water runs down my face I conclude, "Boy, you sure like to eat bread!" is not a comment a lady on a dinner date enjoys hearing.
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@joeljeffrey: My wife and did it twice yesterday and we didn't use any protection... I'm worried we might have twins.
@RxitWounds: OPEN UP THIS IS THE COPS What's the magic word? [Cut to them back at the station writing on a chalkboard with dozens of words crossed off]
@rdthought: Girlfriend: Stop lying around on the couch all day. Me: But you said we needed to start conserving energy.
@davedittell: yeah, we r a non-traditional family. instead of naming our dog, we let him name us. I'm Woof, this is my husband Woof, & these r Woof & Woof