@Xalqee: As if " cray cray" wasn't irritating enough, people have started shortening it to " cray"....that's just stu stu
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@Mr_Kapowski: Cop: Do you know how fast you were going, sir? Me: I honestly do not. There were two guys in front of my car with brooms, vigorously scrubbing the road and I think that increased my speed
@GrumpyBahr: Sorry I haven't tweeted much. Kathy on facebook was keeping us updated on her menstrual cramps.
@PyrBliss: Just thought about sex for the 100th time today, and let me tell you, it's definitely NOT the thought that counts.
@AimeeHelene1: Ma'am...we're going to have to ask you to get off of the table. Ma'am... (me, trying to cuddle with my bacon cheese fries)