@becks_bradley: As it turns out, "harder" is a horrible safe word.
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@hythemafia: To all newly married guys..... If you screw up Valentine’s Day, you’ll be celebrating Palm Sunday for a long time.
@funnyordie: Happy Columbus Day! Celebrate by going to the wrong house after work then claiming it as your own.
@Parker_Simpson: I wonder if ppl who design new kinds of toilet paper ever think,"Why do we ever try? ppl are gonna shit all over this new design"
@GavinProbably: How did Hitler tie his shoes? In knotsies. (The unfollow button is only a click away)