@becks_bradley: As it turns out, "harder" is a horrible safe word.
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@sageboggs: are those elderberries? [camera pans over to reveal a bunch of berries struggling to use the internet]
@TheEllenShow: Scientists found there may not be as many benefits to flossing as we thought. Guess none of them have ever been to a party with spinach dip.
@MasterOfMoppets: These coffee flavored rice cakes are delicious, but chewy. [eats another coaster]
@TheToddWilliams: GOOD COP: Three robberies in the same neighborhood ...do you know what I'm thinking? PSYCHIC COP: Yes GOOD COP: Oh right