@AGreaterMonster: As it turns out you cannot recharge your cell plugging it in to an electric eel. I'm just glad this aquarium had a paramedic on duty.
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@mattselman: If the United States ever collapses, the upside is that we can finally use the blue starry part of American flags to make wizard hats.
@BonaFideIntent: Me: I HAD A VISION! I was a GARDEN GNOME & I was ridding a FLAMINGO & the FAIRIES sprinkled cocaine on me & I FLIED!! My Therapist: .....
@merseytart: Woman on CNN talking about London's streets being eerily quiet. Mate, it's Sunday. They're not cowering in fear, they're having a lie in.