@bigmacher: As long as Apple doesn't announce Ben Affleck as the new iPhone I think everything is going to be OK.
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@living_marble: Telling a woman to get back in the kitchen is a weird insult to lob on Twitter. We can still tweet from kitchens. We have wifi & data plans.
@hippieswordfish: when life gives you lemons, use their natural acidity to temporarily blind your opponent
@minnie_in_pink7: I hope George Clooney dumps his wife so he and Brad Pitt can finally be happy together.
@zombieparrot: Driving and trying to read twitter, I just ran over a poodle. Unfortunately I drive a Yaris. My car got a dent and the poodle got annoyed.