@bigmacher: As long as Apple doesn't announce Ben Affleck as the new iPhone I think everything is going to be OK.
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@realHamOnWry: I tried S/M once, and ended up with a dominatrix who was unusually cruel. Instead of using a whip she would make me do fractions in my head.
@ChipKellysBalls: To celebrate Boxing Day on Friday, I had a five minute training montage and beat the shit out of the biggest Russian I could find ...
@iwearaonesie: [Jurassic Park] kid: What do you call a blind dinosaur? me: What? kid: Do-you-think-he-saurus me *pushes him out of the tree*