@michaelianblack: As new head of Westboro Baptist Church, I'm expanding who God hates. To start: delivery guys, vegetarians, and people who do Sudoku.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@LuckoftheDraw86: Cinderella is my favorite fairy tale about how foot size is the best way to recognize someone.
@: Sorry I missed your call earlier, I was sitting in my bed with my phone in my hand watching it ring
@the_rock_chic: A moment of silence for all those who are stuck in traffic, trying to get to the gym, to ride stationary bikes...
@Storminika: During labour, nurse came up to me & said, 'How about Epidural Anesthesia?' I was like, 'Thanks, but I already picked a name.