@michaelianblack: As new head of Westboro Baptist Church, I'm expanding who God hates. To start: delivery guys, vegetarians, and people who do Sudoku.
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@runolgarun: saw someone spill their high end juice cleanse all over the sidewalk and now I know god is on my side
@justincousson: "I know you! You were one of the bad guys in Titanic!" I yelled at the ocean, who ignored me like most celebrities.
@_tomcrowley: it's been 12 years since Shrek came out, I still can't get over the fact that Donkey had sex with a dragon..