@rohtalks: As Newton once said, "For every male action, there is a female over-reaction".
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@funnybeachgirl: What's white & falls from the sky? "The coming of the Lord." HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! ...please enjoy this tweet. I'm going to hell.
@AnOrangeSNES: "I just called to say I love you." -Stevie Wonder not understanding how prank calls work
@carlyken: Every Political Ad Ever: I'm a rich guy who's not like the other rich guy he's a total douche. *Paid for by my rich guy friends*