@ComedicBust: As soon as I get to a party, I start saying goodbye; that way I'm out of there within 4 hours.
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@CantWaitToNap: When a cop talks to you about Miranda, he's not inviting you for a three-way... I know this now.
@abbycohenwl: Me (texting): Help I'm in the pantry hiding from the murderer Murderer: Probably shouldn't have used speech-to-text