@ComedicBust: As soon as I get to a party, I start saying goodbye; that way I'm out of there within 4 hours.
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@caperbc75: Dr: ... Me: ... D: ... M: ... D: *sighs* Did you stick an orange up your rectum M: No *orange falls out onto floor* D: ... M: *mumbles* yes
@JasonLastname: *approaches drive-thru window on a camel* "Sir, here's your 17 big macs and a large milkshake." May I please have a straw? *camel collapses*
@KatMcSnatch: Tip for twitter newbies: Before you start using twitter, please make sure this is really what you want to do with the rest of your life.