@IAmKatieOrr: As soon as they heard the flush, my phone interview took a drastic turn.
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@noog: God: What's that? Noah: The aquarium God: For what? Noah: The fish God: Fish can survive floods Noah: *kicks llama* YOU SAID EVERY ANIMAL
@squirrel74wkgn: As I exposed my glorious chest hairs & catapulted toward the Velcro wall, I realized that I had no exit strategy.
@BuckyIsotope: [stranded on deserted island] *spells out message in rocks* WHAT’S THE WIFI PASSWORD
@TheBoydP: Protip: If you’re bad at geography and someone asks about an obscure country just say “isn't that where the oiled up Olympics guy is from?”