@Abusitron: As the anesthetic knocks you out, your surgeon washes his hands and misses a really easy shot into the garbage with the paper towel.
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@brynnester: I'll never forget my Uncles last words on his death bed "I am your Father" Still doing the Star Wars impressions right to the end
@DaddyJew: [buying college textbooks] That'll be 100 million dollars [returning college textbooks] We can give you half off on this pencil case
@NintenDom: Of course Bruce Willis is going to keep playing the same movie roles. You know what they say about old habits.