@ComedicBust: As the house burned down, my wife asked me to grab the photos, but she didn't say our wedding ones. Anyway, here's my dog and I wearing hats
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@living_marble: Ann: I wanna break up Ed: why? A: you use time travel to manipulate me E: when, exactly, did you start to suspect this? A: well... Hey!
@Elizasoul80: Him: I wonder if this dealership is open. Me: Are you stupid? The parking lot is full.
@david8hughes: "I'm telling you, it's all or nothing," the exterminator explains to Noah, "I can't just leave 2 woodworm. It doesn't work like that."