@JasonLastname: As the officer approached my car I took a big pull of helium from the balloon and started crying
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@SnizzleFrizzle: I bet jellyfish are sad that there are no peanut butter fish. *I'm not even high.
@AthenaMystique: *sings Batman theme *crawls along bars of death *rolls down slope *ascends tower *knocks out foes "Miss, you need to leave the playground."
@lolajxx: Co Worker- so are you a dog or a cat person? Me- Ummm i dunno, i usually have chicken or steak??Sometimes shrimp? What do you recommend?
@Parkerlawyer: Opposing counsel licks his thumb every time he turns a page in his file and basically I didn't even know this rage inside me existed.