@carlyken: As you get older dating becomes a lot like Musical Chairs. The music stops, everyone sits down and you're left with the last idiot standing.
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@KeetPotato: [petting friend's new guidedog] so how did you get here? "he brought me" wow [later in bed w/ wife] did you know dave's dog can drive a car?
@briancthayer: *licks the powdered sugar off the donuts and puts them back* Boss: I kinda like these new low-cal donuts. Real moist.
@I_Bl33d_Purple: If my memory serves me, the last time I was someone's type, I was donating blood.
@neiltyson: i wonder if fewer people would eat Rabbit Stew if it was instead called Bunny Rabbit Stew.