@JermHimselfish: As you get older, dirty talk turns into "Yeah baby, take that nap. Take all of it honey. You like that couch? Oh yeah, sleep on it..."
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@thetigersez: Dating tip: Men find mysterious woman alluring, so keep the spark alive by occasionally acting like a lunatic possessed by the devil.
@fro_vo: Angel: welcome to heaven Me: holy shit Angel: ooh you swore get out Devil: welcome to hell Me: holy shit Devil: ugh u said holy get out
@KalvinMacleod: BANK TELLER: to open an account I'll need a first name ME: Robin BT: and a last? ME: Dabanc BT: so ur Robin Dabanc Me: *slowly reveals gun*
@ka_unplugged: When I see an ugly guy buying condoms, I restore my faith in myself by thinking that he bought them only because balloons weren't available