@JermHimselfish: As you get older, dirty talk turns into "Yeah baby, take that nap. Take all of it honey. You like that couch? Oh yeah, sleep on it..."
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@WilliamAder: If my wife ever hired a private detective to follow me, it would be to get pictures of me not using the coupons I said I used.
@GonzoVice: There is a huge body of evidence to support the notion that me and the police were put on this earth to do extremely different things.
@Karate_Horse: my child is amazed when the “shelf elf” is in a different location every morning! duh, I placed it there! except for Wednesday I did not do that, I am completely freaking out