@realHamOnWry: As you grow older you'll start feeling your body getting stiffer. But don't worry ... it's just rigor mortis practicing for the big day.
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@Mobute: A gritty reboot of basketball where we find out all the players' moms were murdered by circles and that's why they throw rocks at one.
@MattchooFitz: "Matt, you just need to date the type of person that will always be there for you!" [tries to date pizza] [gets friend calzoned]
@Peauxtassium: I just cleaned out the change at the bottom of my purse and now I have an extra $17,000.
@drayzze: Whew! I almost hit a deer today. But I managed to calm down and got back in the car before things escalated.