@rzarosco: Ask a girl if she wants to dance. If she says yes then start shooting at her feet. Congratulations you are now Yosemite Sam
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@rikpayne: I just replaced the can of air freshener in the office bathroom with an air horn. And now we wait...
@kentgrossarth: I've been interrogating this dog for hours and he still won't tell me who's a good boy.
@OhNoSheTwitnt: Apparently "cool story, bro" is not an acceptable substitute for "congratulations" when your friend calls and tells you she's pregnant.
@TheMichaelRock: I ain't sayin she a gold digger, but she has a helmet with a flashlight on it, and a pick axe.