@DurtMcHurtt: She can't leave if you're wearing all of her clothes.

@Chalupanati: *PLOT TWIST* Breaking Bad last ep. Walt takes off the mask to reveal he was Dwayne Johnson The world finally knows what the Rock was cookin

@david8hughes: Cop: so you went out to pick up some fruit when, out of nowhere, 3 ghosts attacked you? Pac-man [wipes tears]: 4. It was 4 ghosts

@sploosk: Baby detective: These stab wounds here, they- *coroner covers the body with a sheet* Baby: OH MY GOD. THE BODY! ITS GONE! WHERE DID IT GO

@maddie11_Anders: Do you think that a funeral director signs his letters with ' yours eventually'?