@pstamato: Asked exterminator if he chose the bug life or the bug life chose him. In the ensuing silence I assume he imagined me dying by fumigation.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@animadvertguy: LAWYER: where were you Oct 13th? ME: alibi school LAWYER: can u prove this? ME: wait, the 13th? LAWYER: ya ME: k no I was murdering that day
@behindyourback: This Slow Jaywalker Thinks The Driver Of The Oncoming Car Values Human Life More Than Proving A Point, What Happens Next Will Surprise Him!
@TheMichaelRock: Me: Got a hot date this weekend? Coworker: Ummm...no. Me: I know. I was just reminding you. Coworker....
@iRowlf: I'm returning this head of lettuce. It tastes awful. "Sir, that's a loofah." Oh. I'm returning this loofah. Someone took a bite out of it.