@Kelly_skeleton: Asked my daughter to get me a glass of water & she brought me a glass of wine....she's either Jesus or I gotta remember the lies I tell her
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@MrSandeepP: Me: Hello, is it me you're looking for? Her: no Me: *dials another number* Hello, is it me you're looking for?
@oria2326: I am so used to automatic doors at work that when I come across one I have to physically open I just stand there like a dummy
@truegritrumble: ME: I don't know if I'm ready for this...emotionally. CHIPOTLE EMPLOYEE: You have to order something or get out of the line.
@LaLuchaNix: My husband says none of my metaphors make any sense. He is just an empty canoe in the snow.