@_RyanBryce: Asked the burd in Krispy kremes for 5 Nutella donuts and she says "have you got any nut allergies" aye pal I'm planning suicide by donut
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@Rachelnoise: If by ticklish, you mean I'll turn into a rabid chihuahua on bath salts if you come near my underarm, then yes I'm a little ticklish.
@VodkaShorebird: A good way to help you determine who to weed out of your life is probably by how someone pronounces "coyote".
@Book_Krazy: 9: What did that message on the TV say Me: It said, the film has been modified to fit our screen 9: How do they know what size TV we have?
@jergarl: Me: OMG I'm so tired. Ambien: Your wife would look AMAZING covered in mustard and chocolate chips. Me: I'm on it. A: And Cheetos. M: K.