@_RyanBryce: Asked the burd in Krispy kremes for 5 Nutella donuts and she says "have you got any nut allergies" aye pal I'm planning suicide by donut
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@dinnersruined: Welcome to innuendo club. This is going to be a long and hard session, if you know what I mean.
@ch000ch: if she doesn't reciprocate ur first "i love u", press ur finger to ur strategically placed bluetooth & say "oh cool u love me too? nice"
@yoyoha: 8yo Me: *sneaks candy* 14yo Me: *sneaks cigarettes* 18yo Me: *sneaks alcohol* 43yo Me: *sneaks candy* Being an adult is stupid.
@crunchenhancer: What's the difference between carbon monoxide and spouses? Carbon monoxide is a silent killer.