@_RyanBryce: Asked the burd in Krispy kremes for 5 Nutella donuts and she says "have you got any nut allergies" aye pal I'm planning suicide by donut
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@davidkenny100: When I was growing up, my mum was always saying "you can do it!" Like when I was asking who was cooking dinner for example
@primawesome: I haven't had bread in 3 weeks. I look great but now all I think about is bread. I'm basically a duck at this point.
@Rollinintheseat: I made fun of a guy for still having a Nokia phone. He threw it at me and knocked me unconscious.
@lasergirl70: The rose petal scene from American Beauty, but just me naked and covered in candy wrappers.