@craigdtull: Asking me for advice is like asking broccoli to fix your bicycle.
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@GrantTanaka: Hey kids, for Halloween, let’s go to a spooooky place full of scaaaary, oppressive people & a guy who riiiises from the dead! Kids: Church?
@jasonroeder: I don't think my neighbor knows my rule about not interacting unless we're both pointing at the same tornado.
@Verity_Holloway: I'm getting old. I'm watching a horror film about a house with a hidden cellar that wasn't on the deeds, and all I can think is how much value that would add.
@AaronFullerton: "What are you doing? Are you writing down everything I'm saying?! IS THIS GONNA BE A SONG?!?!" -anyone dating Taylor Swift