@craigdtull: Asking me for advice is like asking broccoli to fix your bicycle.
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@UnderTheJewFro: You can tell a lot about a person by the type of car they drive. For example, if they drive a Taxi, they're probably a cab driver.
@wittwitbarista: My pharmacists won't return my calls anymore *snotty cries* something about no more refills. Quick someone sneeze on me! I'm lonely.
@Caissie: A reboot of Dexter, but this time he stalks and kills people who crunch their disposable water bottles as they drink.
@fuzzlime: I thought it was a staring contest but then I realized the guy had a glass eye so now I can never go back to that gas station again.