@DadInUtah: Asking your stay-at-home wife what exactly she did all day is a fun way to bleed.
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@Book_Krazy: WAITER: Room for dessert? [flashback to the room at home that hides all my desserts] ME: [nervous laugh] Haha I don't have one of those.
@shutupmikeginn: An old lady on the bus just tried to set me up with her daughter. Here's everything she knows about me: 1) I don't have a car
@CatherineLMK: The adult life I imagined as a child involved less laundry and more group dance numbers.
@MariyaAlexander: People need to stop posting denigrating photo memes of animals; they have dignity and deserve respect. Oh that's Rick Santorum? Ok carry on.