@DadInUtah: Asking your stay-at-home wife what exactly she did all day is a fun way to bleed.
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@Playing_Dad: Walk up in the club like "THIS IS MY JAM" handing out small jars of my homemade raspberry preserves
@Mr_Kapowski: Me: Time for bed Brain: Ok Brain: PSST. EVER WONDER IF EARTH'S TECTONIC PLATES WON'T BE ABLE TO SUPPORT THE NUMBER OF PEOPLE ON EARTH?!
@JohnLyonTweets: My niece likes movies about talking animals so I bought her something called The Human Centipede. Sounds cute.