@EndhooS: "Asphyxiate' would be worth like a million points..." I thought to myself as I lay choking on a Scrabble tile.
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@13spencer: A hot girl in the hallway just smiled at me, but don't worry; I yelled "I'm taken," and ran into the men's bathroom where she can't follow.
@iAmDelFreaky: I was sad to lose an arm wrestling match to a woman, but I felt better after I found out she was a man. Then sad again because we had sex.
@eddiesteadyno: Making reservations for one at a fancy restaurant because every now and then, I like to be wined and dined before I take advantage of myself
@mjkspeaks: [at ER] ME: my stomach hurts. DOC: have you been able to eat anything today? ME: yeah, like 75 pieces of pizza.