@EndhooS: "Asphyxiate' would be worth like a million points..." I thought to myself as I lay choking on a Scrabble tile.
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@samalmightysam: -Babe, I can't find the condom, what if we don't use it? -Sure, I'm ready to be a mother anyways. -No, no. Look, I found it!
@AsgardianRose: The fastest and most deadly land mammal is a woman who has noticed another woman flirting with her man.
@LinajkReturns: You have beautiful eyes. Too bad they're attached to the head of a stark raving lunatic.
@huntigula: [Donald Trump's election speech] "America, I have only 1 thing to say" *pulls off wig & mask revealing Ashton Kutcher* "YOU'VE BEEN PUNK'D"