@shutupmikeginn: Astronauts are cowards, why don't you stay down here and face earth's problems like a man
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@jnrbtsn: Based on the condition of my hair in the morning, I'd say there's a 100% chance my hair has more fun than I do when I sleep.
@kelkulus: Sometimes at the gym I'll struggle and make all kinds of awkward grunting sounds, but eventually I'll get my shorts on.
@TheMichaelRock: The best part about Christmas Eve is when grandma gets drunk and tries to fight everyone.