@shutupmikeginn: Astronauts are cowards, why don't you stay down here and face earth's problems like a man
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@Shelts99: My wife wants me to make her scream in the bedroom. The 32 lego pieces & 6 upturned plugs, I've strategically placed, should do the trick.
@darinlovesbacon: My kid asked me where babies came from and I was like "Dude, ask your Mom. I still can't figure out why Garfield talks and Odie doesn't."
@BlackJerms: Rappers reintroduce themselves on their songs but you expect me to remember who you are because we met a couple of days ago? LOL
@fouadelbatrawi: Thank God for butter because without butter all butterflies would be just flies and that sounds terrible.