@Sassafrantz: At 17, Joan of Arc led the French to victory and I just looked for my phone while talking on it.
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@Donnie_Fairburn: [First day as a superhero] Oh hell yeah! *sees a crime happening* Already? Ok... *the bad guy looks really mean* Umm, I'll get the next one
@BillWeirCNN: Say one positive thing about your opponent Well...he does convert oxygen into carbon dioxide which helps trees grow.
@byrdie_num_num: My wife and I used to describe our marriage as 'forever', now we both prefer the term 'ad nauseam'.
@ShawnIzadi: That moment you could pass as an Olympic speed walker because you are racing to the bathroom.