@NotThatKevin: At a local restaurant, I got on one knee and she said yes. 13 years later I haven't got the balls to tell her I was just chasing a crouton.
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@SodomyClown: If Romney wins I will punch a basket of newborn kittens one by one. Do you want that, America? Do you want kittens to get punched?
@IvoryGazelle: Well, actually, FBI is not an acronym; it's an initialism, because you can't pronounce it as a word. Mom: This is why you have no friends.
@Landon8426: American Ninja Warrior is a bunch of people who took "the floor is lava" game way to seriously as kids.