@atanya1111: At age 40 you gain the capacity to fall totally chemically head over heels in love with a refrigerator.
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@CloydRivers: Camo is proper for any occasion. It's good for drinkin' beers, huntin' deers and scarin' queers. Merica.
@MUMSIEesq: In my defense, they should have been more specific about which part of the restaurant I was supposed to "Drive Thru"
@Cali_Kid_Mike: Twitter Clique: (n) a small exclusive group of friends who promise to tell each other they are funny.
@Cheeseboy22: BREAKING NEWS: North Korea may test a missil on April 10. They just need to find a gigantic bottle of Coke and a huge Mento.