@CerebralWreck: Wife [interrogating]: How long have we been married dear? Me: How dare you try and sneak maths into this.

@kevinrowe1: I make one mistake and my pharmacist now adds "by mouth" on the prescription label.

@9to5Life: Sometimes I think we're all going to be okay. Other times I read Yahoo Answers.

@gonzohostility: Said she was gonna send a pic of her "backyard' . Turns out we weren't on the same page

@sixfootcandy: Not to brag, but my antics at work resulted in several items being added to the employee manual.