@AndyRichter: At Fantastic Beasts & some nerds are in Hogwarts robes so I don't know why they're giving me the stink eye for my Wonder Woman outfit
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@SarahB_D: If you see someone wearing camouflage clothing, bump into them. It only takes a second of your time & it makes them feel like it works.
@_xLNc: My girlfriend left me for a hindu guy. Anyway, he'll treat her better - they worship cows.
@2tickytacky: Got my inhaler mixed up with my psychedelic frog and went on one hell of a wheezy ride.
@AverageCorners: "Grab a Pop Tart!" I tell my kids as I'm mixing up the dogs' breakfasts of organic, grain-free dog food with Greek yogurt and $85 vitamins.