@AndyRichter: At Fantastic Beasts & some nerds are in Hogwarts robes so I don't know why they're giving me the stink eye for my Wonder Woman outfit
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@shariv67: The human body can survive three weeks without food, three days without water but only three hours without wifi.
@GrillinChillin9: It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. -Me with beer, me without beer
@TheTweetOfGod: One Mississippi... two Mississippi... just kidding! One Mississippi is quite enough.
@ranndrew: "How'd the date go?" Not good. Too many red flags. *Flashback to her house being covered with USSR flags* I think she might be a communist.