@birbigs: At jury duty they said, "You do not have to be fluent in English." So what you're supposed to do is just guess if the guy is innocent.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@briangaar: And I don't want to hear people from imaginary places like Finland telling me that 57 degrees isn't cold, save it for the elves, Santa
@JediGigi: Ugh my boyfriend's all "Stop asking my Dad if he likes your underoos" and "Stop snap-chatting my Mom" and "Stop calling me your boyfriend"
@noogscorner: Alien 1: What are the Humans doing? Alien 2: Celebrating the existence of their mothers. Alien 1: I ate my mother. Alien 2: As did I.
@dafloydsta: NURSE: What's your blood type? ME: Oh, I'm not picky. I'll drink any kind. NURSE: What? ME: What?